Grow a Pair!

You have reached the page of The Aganippee Oracle. The Oracle is wisdom' truth and advice for an age when nothing makes sense. You have relationship problems? The Oracle has advice. Got a Do Right Woman and a Do Wrong Man, come to the Oracle for next steps, hints and strategies to bring this fool in line or kick him to the curb. Got bad kids write to the Oracle and I'll help you whip them into shape. Need to work a spell on a boyfriend? I have a personal garden of High John the Conqueror Root, Juju weed, black cat bones and I am a certified Hootch-Cootchie man. My specialty is personal problems. As the Oracle of Aggannippi Park and weekend janitor, it is my sworn charter to dispense wisdom, truth and common-sense to some of the most jacked up people on the planet. I am soothsayer, sage and therapist to many.

Today's Mailbag

I'm a 35-year old Black female and my boyfriend spends more time hanging out with his friends than with me. The most time his spends with is when he is asleep. He gets angry every time I bring it up and it hurts my feelings. What should I do?

Oracle: The first thing you need to do is grow a pair. Next tell this man it is either you or the boys and don't back down. If he threatens a break up, tell he looks going because he's got diamonds in his back. Don't answer his calls and don't let him come past. If you aren't through with him, let him sweat for a weak and then call him. If he acts funny, call the street cleaner to pick him up at the same place you kicked him to the curb.

Oracle, this woman at work keeps making come ons to me. I mean there isn't any guessing what she wants. This woman is fine and I really want to do her, but I'm married. I'm tempted to hit it once or twice and move on. Confused.

Dear Confused: Get your head out of your ass and look at your marriage certificate. When you say "I do" in effect it says you "don't anymore. Grow up, put on your big-boy pants and say no. Once is never enough, and office romances often cause severe repercussions including firing. Pour some cold water on it and enter manhood.

Dear Oracle: I have a great job where I've been working for five years. I'm going to buy a new car and I'm stuck. I saw a nice Mazda hatchback with leather, a sport package and a good price. My friends think I should get a small Lexus. I could make the payments, but I wouldn't be able to do much else. I really like the Lexus, but I've got to have other things like movies or an occasional night on town. What should I do?

Dear What Should I Do: it seems that you already know the answer. If your friends are willing to pay a few car notes for you, go with the Lexus. Otherwise, go with what you wanted first and avoid the pressure. Too many of our folks spend far too much on designer bags, jeans, sunglasses and cars and are constantly a paycheck away from disaster. Go with what you know. Your time will come.

Dear Oracle: my girl friend gave me herpes. I'm very upset, but she says she didn't t cheat on me and that she contracted a year before she knew me. I love this woman and wanted to marry her. I want to believe her, but I am having trouble getting past it.

Dear Troubled: Herpes comes in many varieties. Often no outside sores or bumps ever appear and those carrying the disease don't know it until they have an outbreak. Of all STD's it is hardest to diagnose

Family Jewels and Family Fools

Do We Have the Right?

Ten years ago today, an announcement at someones family reunion changed many people's ideas about family and its importance. The world stood still when the family minster announced that his beloved nephew and assistant pastor was his son. By the time they cleared the lawn of fallen wives, mothers and belligerent grandparent, the sun sank low behind the church.

Death Bed Confessions

Sadly, that story is not new, as almost daily children come into the world unaware of their blood relatives and more than likely will never know them. A child is entitled to share in the richness of family, not because of some motherly or fatherly whim, rather, simply because they are family. How many children missed out on a better life because they had no way way to identify their people and their people had no way to identify them. Viewing the end of life, many choose to "come clean" about what they know and "spill the beans." Too often, that is not the case.

Do You Know Who You're Talking To?

Each day, you walk past someone unknowingly related to you. You don't know it and neither do they. They been hidden away as someones dirty laundry, never knowing that Aunt Liz isn't their aunt, but a half-sister. They find out when they come down with diseases that only hit certain ethnic groups or start comparing family trees with their friends. It makes no difference. The point is, there are millions of children out there deserving of a better life and could obtain if they knew about their family and their family knew about them.

Doing the Right Thing

It is a selfish and vindictive person that gives away all right to a child, to pretend they never existed knowing full well family blood still calls whether it knows or not. Family blood runs deeps and true. Give others a chance to know their kin. Personal embarrassment or shame is not a consideration because like those living in familial exile--they are still family.

What Can You Do?

Unfortunately, there is not much you can do, especially if you don't know. However, adoption of children is a good way to keep them in the family. Just caring for them when you can--helps. By keeping the family tree alive and healthy, the entire family thrives.

O