Grow a Pair!

You have reached the page of The Aganippee Oracle. The Oracle is wisdom' truth and advice for an age when nothing makes sense. You have relationship problems? The Oracle has advice. Got a Do Right Woman and a Do Wrong Man, come to the Oracle for next steps, hints and strategies to bring this fool in line or kick him to the curb. Got bad kids write to the Oracle and I'll help you whip them into shape. Need to work a spell on a boyfriend? I have a personal garden of High John the Conqueror Root, Juju weed, black cat bones and I am a certified Hootch-Cootchie man. My specialty is personal problems. As the Oracle of Aggannippi Park and weekend janitor, it is my sworn charter to dispense wisdom, truth and common-sense to some of the most jacked up people on the planet. I am soothsayer, sage and therapist to many.

Today's Mailbag

I'm a 35-year old Black female and my boyfriend spends more time hanging out with his friends than with me. The most time his spends with is when he is asleep. He gets angry every time I bring it up and it hurts my feelings. What should I do?

Oracle: The first thing you need to do is grow a pair. Next tell this man it is either you or the boys and don't back down. If he threatens a break up, tell he looks going because he's got diamonds in his back. Don't answer his calls and don't let him come past. If you aren't through with him, let him sweat for a weak and then call him. If he acts funny, call the street cleaner to pick him up at the same place you kicked him to the curb.

Oracle, this woman at work keeps making come ons to me. I mean there isn't any guessing what she wants. This woman is fine and I really want to do her, but I'm married. I'm tempted to hit it once or twice and move on. Confused.

Dear Confused: Get your head out of your ass and look at your marriage certificate. When you say "I do" in effect it says you "don't anymore. Grow up, put on your big-boy pants and say no. Once is never enough, and office romances often cause severe repercussions including firing. Pour some cold water on it and enter manhood.

Dear Oracle: I have a great job where I've been working for five years. I'm going to buy a new car and I'm stuck. I saw a nice Mazda hatchback with leather, a sport package and a good price. My friends think I should get a small Lexus. I could make the payments, but I wouldn't be able to do much else. I really like the Lexus, but I've got to have other things like movies or an occasional night on town. What should I do?

Dear What Should I Do: it seems that you already know the answer. If your friends are willing to pay a few car notes for you, go with the Lexus. Otherwise, go with what you wanted first and avoid the pressure. Too many of our folks spend far too much on designer bags, jeans, sunglasses and cars and are constantly a paycheck away from disaster. Go with what you know. Your time will come.

Dear Oracle: my girl friend gave me herpes. I'm very upset, but she says she didn't t cheat on me and that she contracted a year before she knew me. I love this woman and wanted to marry her. I want to believe her, but I am having trouble getting past it.

Dear Troubled: Herpes comes in many varieties. Often no outside sores or bumps ever appear and those carrying the disease don't know it until they have an outbreak. Of all STD's it is hardest to diagnose